Oh my gosh, these are some really interesting ideas!
I think Jason was really used to being small for his age - and smaller than those who would usually do him harm - so I think when he grew into his adult body, it really took him some time to get used to being, well, a looming, large, strong presence.
I really, really like the idea of Jason being aware of that privilege he has as a tall, big, strong, white man, and him being aware of the way he’s perceived by others. I headcanon that one of the reasons why Jason sticks to a non-“costumey” costume and wears a helmet and gloves that covers all his skin is to make himself seem more anonymous and perhaps less like aWhite Male Authority Figure Going Into Underserved Neighborhoods To Discipline People because that itself can exacerbate fear and anxiety and, well, via those things, crime.
Anyway I’m getting off topic here but YEAH I just, yes. Jason realizing that he can seem/ACTUALLY BE dangerous and rough to women without meaning to, and AS A RESULT adjusting his behavior and carrying himself accordingly is really good, and honestly is something I wish more men would realize and do.
Regarding him being attracted to Bruce, that doesn’t contradict my understanding of Jason’s character. In canon at least, he’s always been attracted (I mean that in the most basic sense, not just romantically) to people who are very capable and strong and have demonstrated very obviously their ability to withstand a lot on their own, even in the face of great challenges. Bruce, Donna Troy, Nocturna, Mia Dearden, and Talia al Ghul all come to mind. Personally I have other reasons/hypotheses as to why Jason prefers strong people like that, but the thought that he’s afraid of hurting people and therefore seeks out people he knows can “handle him” is really intriguing! (And also really sad, because if we follow that train of thought he likely thinks of himself as someone flawed and requiring “special” handling that most people aren’t up to.)